Teachers would say ‘You should join this or that team’, not the physics club. My fuel tank had been stoked since I was nine, but it took some energy to overcome this resistance. I wondered if there was a lost generation of people who succumbed because their fuel tanks were a little smaller than mine."
Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they’re evil or sinful, it’s that they’re unconscious. They are default settings.
The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.
That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing."
Such a good reminder of this AMAZING speech. Foster Wallace gave this speech at my boyfriend’s graduation from Kenyon in 2005 and I think about the message almost every day.
Joan Didion, “Farewell to All That” (via drinkyourjuice)
I used to feel this way about NYC, though I was born and raised here. You feel as if you’re closer to whatever that superior force is that makes things happen when you’re in New York. Something extraordinary, good or bad, is always around the corner. It’s like that feeling you get when you have a word on the tip of your tongue, but can’t seem to blurt it out.
The intensity of that desire, for something extraordinary, for something else, reminds me of the Icarus myth. It feels as if you’re flying too close to the sun. Ultimately, I moved away, because intense, palpable feeling of POSSIBILITY was too much to bear. Eventually you’ve got to get your shit together and make some choices, pursue goals, and I just couldn’t drown out the city siren call long enough to think things through.
I still love New York, foul-mouthed, exuberant, volatile New York. I think that I’d love to move back some day, when I’m older. But living in New York as a true blue adult is like watching children play in a jungle gym. You feel younger by proximity, I guess, and you’re hoping for a taste of that wild youth, that bloodlust that is the undercurrent of New York. The city is a different thing to you now, though, because you’re just a spectator, going to expensive restaurants, oblivious when you want to be to the kids who are selling their souls for fleeting glory. Like shooting stars.
I am obsessed with making lists. There is something so satisfying about crossing off the “finish to do list…” item on my notepad.
So in celebration of listless list-making (see what I did there?), here are some shows:
Favorite TV Shows:
1. Arrested Development
2. 30 Rock
5. In Betweeners
Honorable mention: Extras.
What are yours?